Friday, April 29, 2011

The Past Adventures of Idiot Woman: Dating Disasters

Not too long ago, I wrote the post, "Can Stripping in your Car Lead to True Love?" about the night I met my now-husband Anthony at the Yule, a Christmas Banquet held by my college (California Baptist University) every year.

I met him during my sophomore year.

What I haven't told you about yet was my date for the Yule msy freshman year.

I don't quite remember how I met Isaac. I think he was in the cafeteria, eating his third serving of food.

For some reason (I guess I was feeling brave that day), we started up a conversation.

He was a good-looking guy with black curly hair and deep brown eyes.

He was very tall and masculine- probably one of those guys who started growing chest hair in the 6th grade.

Isaac was a great conversationalist. I ended up sitting at his table for his fourth serving of food and talking to him for the next hour and a half.

He talked about really interesting things, and as he talked or listened to me talk, he would stare directly into my eyes with his deep brown beautiful eyes.

There was only one problem: he was crazy.

When I look back on it now, I wonder why in the world I ever went out with this man.

He was clearly a loony bird...and I was pretty well aware of it...but for some reason this didn't dissuade me from going to the Yule with him.

Sandy's Logical Brain: "Perhaps you shouldn't go out with clinically insane people."

Sandy's Illogical Brain: "He's really interesting...and cute! And he seems to like me."

Sandy's Logical Brain: "He seems very hungry. And the pupils in his eyes seem really, really dilated. Aren't those signs of drug use?"

Sandy's Illogical Brain: "Don't be so suspicious. Can he help it if he needs to eat a lot...and has big, beautiful eyes?"

Sandy's Logical brain: "All your roommates say not to go out with him. They are pretty smart people."

Sandy's Illogical Brain: "La la La la La...."

To his credit, Isaac never tried to hide his nature from me.

In fact, he told me, "Yeah, I used to be schizophrenic. I was even admitted to a mental hospital for a while and then they released me and put me on a bunch of drugs to control the schizophrenia.

But then after I got out, I went to a Tony Robbins Conference. That guy was great. He healed me! So I quit the medication after that, and I've been doing fine ever since."

Sandy's Logical Brain: "Red Alert! Red Alert! Danger, Danger, Crazy guy alert! Get out while you still can!

Sandy's Illogical Brain: "Wow, what an interesting story. This guy is fascinating. Let me stare into his eyes for a little longer."

A few days later, when Isaac called me up and asked me to the Yule, my illogical brain was still the one in control and I said yes.

My sister was going with a boy named Richard. That is a story in and of itself. But I digress.

Carolyn and Richard and Isaac and I all headed down to the ticket office to sign up for our tickets.

Richard paid for he and Carolyn's ticket.

When it came time for Isaac to buy our tickets, the lady at the window said, "That'll be $60.00 please."

Isaac looked at me and said, "I need $30.00 from you."

There was silence in the office for a very long moment. Carolyn and Richard froze. The other couples waiting in line froze. I felt my face turning an unattractive red color.

"Of..of course." I said as-if-that-were-the-plan-all-along. "Here it is." I heard the other people around me start to breathe and move again. Only Carolyn still looked perplexed.

I felt as if I had been slapped.

I wouldn't have had a problem paying for my own ticket...if Isaac had told me ahead of time! Thankfully, my logical brain had strongly suggested I go to the ATM that morning.

Isaac told me he'd call me later with the details and disappeared. I now had a ticket to the Yule to go on a date with a crazy boy who never even informed me I was paying my own way.

I could have still gotten out. The Finance Office would have given me my money back.

But I was determined not to miss the Yule my freshmen year...and I still wanted to give Isaac a chance. He had those eyes, remember?

Plus...I just didn't have the guts to make the phone call to break things off with him.

In my next installment...I will tell you about the date itself.

What about you...have you ever gone out with a crazy person when you really should have known better?


  1. Oh Sandy, I am the queen of awful dates. My first really awful date was when I was a senior in high school. He called me at about 8am on a week day during spring break to go to the movies. I now realize he was wanting to catch the matinee. He picked me up, stopped by the ATM to get money (mind you he had a job and I was still a student) and then at the box office looked at me and said, "This is dutch, right?" Right. After he he awkwardly tried to touch knees and elbows during the movie he asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I said yes because I was scared to tell him no. This doesn't happen anymore. Haha! So he opened my car door, which was sweet, then told me to hold on to the coupons he pulled out of his trunk that we would be using for lunch. After the worst mexican food of my life he looked at the bill and said, "you can just give me like 7 dollars."

    The end.

  2. Oh those silly days of college. Crazy and cheap? It was a painful combination.

  3. oh man, when Sandy told me this story the other day, i was thinking of this date you told me about Sara, but I thought I'd wait and let you tell her, I'm so glad you did.... I couldn't have remembered all that.

    Unfortunately I don't have a lot of awful date stories, that can probably be attributed to the fact that I wasn't really asked out all that much, which is sad in and of itself... are you feeling sorry for me yet?! ahahah!

  4. Can't wait for the next installment...