Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Past Adventures of Idiot Woman: Dating Disasters Part 2

This is the last half of a story that began with "The Past Adventures of Idiot Woman: Dating Disasters."
I've told this story for the past few weeks to family members and friends when I mentioned that I was blogging about it.

My wonderful sister-in-law Meghan, who I love dearly is married to my brother who I also love dearly, and is carrying a baby who I already love dearly though I have not met her yet, responded with this comment,

"I don't have a lot of awful date stories, that can probably be attributed to the fact that I wasn't really asked out all that much, which is sad in and of itself. Are you feeling sorry for me yet? Ha Ha!"

Well, I'd just like to say to Meghan and any others who didn't date around very much...don't worry, you didn't miss much, either.

If you're willing to date crazy people, weird people, cheap people, or people you don't know very well, it becomes really easy to get a date.

However...most of them end in disaster and they are not very pleasant experiences. Again- you didn't miss anything.

But I was young (I started college at 17), deeply lonely (I had just broken things off with my boyfriend from high school who I had been in love with), and though I have always been a very intelligent person when it comes to books and writing and the like...I just wasn't too bright when it came to things like who to date and who not to.

So that brings us to the Yule. And Isaac.

Isaac was very proud of the Tuxedo he rented for the occasion, and indeed, he did look very handsome. The red vest with the dark black tuxedo jacket made a striking picture with his olive skin, black curly hair, and did I mention the deep brown eyes?

Richard, Carolyn, Isaac and I were all going together so we piled into Richard's tiny car. Isaac immediately took out a bag from a local fast food place, pulled out a burrito, and starting eating it. I said, "You do know that the Yule is a dinner, right?"

"Yeah, but I won't be able to wait. I'm super hungry. I only got two servings of lunch today."

In all, Isaac downed three large burritos. He did not offer me one.

Carolyn and Richard did not take to Isaac very well. Richard in particular seemed uncomfortable, and Carolyn at one point pulled me aside and informed that Isaac, "looked like a vampire."

She was right- he did look like a vampire. A handsome one, but a vampire nonetheless.

So our dinner consisted of me and Carolyn trying to make polite conversation, Richard glaring at Isaac, and Isaac occasionally mentioning his stay in the mental hospital.

After dinner, most of the couples were going to Downtown Disney to walk around and see the sights. The four of us went, too.

When we got there, it was a little chilly and all across the parking lot young men were offering their tuxedo jackets to their dates in formal gowns who were now very cold.

I looked at Isaac. He looked at me and smiled.

Then he said, "I want to keep wearing my jacket, but I brought something for you."

He pulled out a black ski jacket with flourescent green trim.

"There; now we can both be warm."

"Thank you." I said- the icyness in my voice matched only by the icyness in the air.

So for the rest of the evening, when all the other pretty girls were wearing their dates' tuxedo jackets, I was wearing a ski jacket with green flourescent trim.

It was just downhill from there.

At this point, any intelligent woman would never go out with this person again. I wish I could say that were true, but then my name wouldn't be Idiot Woman.


  1. And this was before Twilight, so being a vampire wasn't a good thing.

  2. this half of the story just cracks me up! How weird does this guy have to be!? weird weird weird! hahahahha!

  3. There are worse things than wearing a ski jacket with flourescent green trim (at least he thought about you), but it is good to heed the inner warning signals - the red flags that go up when on a date.