Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I am my biggest obstacle.



So I’ve been researching poetry workshops. As I stated in a previous blog, I would like to take one before the end of the year. I know it would greatly enhance my work, open my mind to new possibilities, yada yada.

But I’m still terrified. I have stumbled onto some truly awesome poetry workshops in my searches and they sound so extremely wonderful that I can’t really believe that they were meant for someone like me.  Like the Bread Loaf Writer's Conference: http://www.middlebury.edu/blwc

Apparently Robert Frost (aka- one of the best poets ever) was inspired by this conference. Now there is no way I could actually go to this conference- it’s in a completely different part of the country and I have a baby to take care of and we really don’t have the money. I really just want one workshop anyway, not a whole conference. But just browsing the website and hearing author’s names like Robert Frost makes me want to shut down the laptop, and throw it into the pool along with all my pens, papers, and pencils and end my search and my poetry habit right away. It’s so very, very intimidating.

Robert Frost: 8,000,000% more Awesome than you.
I need something I can take online. Something moderately priced that I can save up for from my e-bay sales.  Something low-key enough that won’t terrify me, but solid enough that it’s worth my time to do.

There are a lot of options out there, but that’s not the biggest obstacle. My biggest obstacle is my own fear. Which brings me to this litany of courage by Mary Anne Radmacher:
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow.” 

So once more into the breach I go and the search continues...

1 comment:

  1. I have been thinking about your post. I didn't have much to say about it because I experience the same level of trepidation about this kind of thing, so I don't have any really good pieces of advice for you. But one thing I was thinking, is that now is the time because its really the only time you have. Right now, with just one baby, you can dedicate the time to this kind of thing you need. Once babies 2, 3, 4, and 5 come along, you will have lots of excuses- some of them legitimate- to put off your writing. Then your next real chance will be once they are grown, and that's quite a long time to wait. I'm not trying to increase your fear, but I know sometimes we overcome fear simply because we HAVE to. If you want to do this, now is the time. It may not come again for a long time. Plus you will be awesome. Remember, you are already an award winning poet!

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