Friday, March 11, 2011

The Further Adventures of Idiot-Woman- Installment 2

Whenever I say to my husband, "honey, I'm reading a new book..." he gets this crazed, glazed-over look in his eyes.

He knows that this means I will develop some wonderful new idea that I am convinced will change everything for the better....and turn our lives upside down in the process.

He knows it is no use to try to dissuade me, I must try the new idea, even if it kills us both.

So when I told him I wanted to learn more about investing in the stock market, Anthony wasn't exactly thrilled, but as usual, he let me have the freedom to try it out.

And what's the first thing I do?

Step knee-deep into a steaming, feculant pile of scam. I even managed to rope my supportive father in with me.

My Dad and I both signed up for the "Rich Dad, Poor Dad Stock Success" 3-day workshop, which we paid $200 for the privilege of attending.

It seemed like it was going well for the first day. It was all so simple.

Learn their system and you can quit your job, make more money than you ever dreamed possible, and do it all while only working 30 minutes a day!

Being currently stuck in Yearbook Hell, this was very tempting to me. I visualized being able to quit my job, stealing the entire shipment of books, and setting fire to them while all the high school students wept. It was a beautiful dream.

The point where I started to lose faith in the excited "teachers" and "success coaches," was when they told us that we should try to extend our credit lines so we could pay for their expensive, $10,000 up-front courses.

My husband and I are ONE month away from paying off our student loans. We have promised ourselves that we will never "do" debt again.

The second point where I started to lose faith was when I started asking the "success coaches" (aka salespeople) about how well the system worked for them.

They would say, "Oh, great! Best decision I ever made," but then....their eyes would slide off to the side. THEY WERE LYING!

I am not even that good at detecting lying. But 5 years of teaching high school have taught me that people whose eyes slide off to the side like that...are lying to you.

Some of the "techniques" they taught were downright illegal (like using your Health Savings Account as a "whatever I need from the pharmacy, like food or school supplies" savings account.)

Some of the "techniques" were highly risky. "No, there is no risk in short-selling stocks. None at all." LIES!

So, needless to say, my father and I looked at eachother after the first day and talked about how neither of us trusted these people.

In fact, we left half-way through the second day, when the presenter started berating us for being so ignorant as not to see the great "opportunity" they were giving us.

To our Dad and I were the first people to walk out. I hope we weren't the last.

I guess I'm just not "ready to be rich."

Oh, Idiot-Woman, what new ideas will you follow next?

Does anyone have any swampland in Florida for me to purchase?


  1. I think you hit upon one of the main reasons people don't try new things, because there is always someone out there trying to capitalize on people who don't know what they are doing. Kudos to you for continuing to try even if you run into a few sheisters along the way. You are attempting to do something above your socioeconomic class, shifting gears from lower middle class to upper middle/lower upper class. This means some troubles along the way, because its a new culture with new rules and roles. Keep your eyes and ears open for more opportunities and one of these days it will be a good one!

  2. That just about says it all. You might like to know that you are generation number four who likes to search for the "answer". Grandfather Roy had all kinds of stuff in storage that promised to make him money. Granddad Don tried quite a few things as well. He and I both subscribed to a magazine for Entrepreneurs and Home Businesses. That makes me generation three. You are generation four!
    You come from a long line of those trying to find a way out of the rat race.

  3. If it seems too good to be true then it probably is a scam, I don't know how these people sleep at night. On the other hand I have 10 tins of tartan paint you may be interested in purchasing....

  4. Oh Sandy , I am highly suggestive also. I would do the same thing. Read a book and then my whole life would change. I would never tell your dad I just became this whole other person. He would finally ask me "Have you been reading a new book?" I would always get defensive and be like no I just wanted to totally organize my life down to the minute or decide I was to become an associate pastor to support you in your ministry. In fact I am still like that today. Witness how I have a different philosophy and teaching method every year. I am just sure this will be the ticket . I sort of like life that way it is interesting. Mamasita